my heart's resurfacing

Scratched vinyl is the only way I can describe it

snippets of sweet melodies still playing

disrupted by long, ringing pauses

Never hook me up to a heart rate moniter

and before the dust settles

just know that my heart was once alive

Paper boys and paper girls all holding hands

chased by the flame once you said goodbye

and now my hands are empty and my nails caked with dirt

I inhale nostalgia like smoke from a cigarette

each puff more corrosive than the next

if only it was my lungs turning black

Time spent in bed like a prisoner with an unlocked cell

I want too much at once

that I'm left not wanting anything at all

Still yearning for people long gone

hoping they'll close the distance

apprehending that

there's no point in reminscing someone who isn't coming back

I love uncontrollably and leave the cap off the bottle

mistakes, mistakes, memories

loneliness is a poison the doctors have no prescription for

and the toughest part is forgiving

the monsoon

A severe, unearthly storm had swept over the state of Utah.

It seemed as if the end of our planet was at nigh. Thunder rumbled from all angles, the great Zeus was furious. Niagra falls had been relocated and was now above us, it was raining buckets. The brilliant beams of light struck all around, restoring light to a blackened world.

There I was, fixated on the sky behind the thick glass of my attic window, my eyes filled with childlike wonder. The power had gone out long before, and my two sisters, brother, and I were left to battle the utter darkness alone. It was beautiful, the electricity slicing through the sky and illuminating my toy room. I was consuming licorice at 1000 vines per second, hoping that the great storm would spare an insignificant peasant like myself. 

Then it happened. Time stood still. A white flash of light blinded me and caused me to fall backwards in sheer terror. It was followed by a loud cacophonous noise unlike anything I have ever heard before. I believe I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it never reached my ears. All at once, the horror began. A kind of power surge rippled from the source, reaching me in a matter of milliseconds. Suddenly, a barbie cash register containing no batteries that had been neglected of use for many years, went off. An eery tune then played, sending shivers down my spine and causing me question my sanity. The lights flickered on and off afterwards, and a chilling silence filled the air.

Ever since this experience, I have never been quite the same. It has haunted me ever since, and I'm not sure how I can live with such scarring memories, but I find a way. FIN