my heart's resurfacing

Scratched vinyl is the only way I can describe it

snippets of sweet melodies still playing

disrupted by long, ringing pauses

Never hook me up to a heart rate moniter

and before the dust settles

just know that my heart was once alive

Paper boys and paper girls all holding hands

chased by the flame once you said goodbye

and now my hands are empty and my nails caked with dirt

I inhale nostalgia like smoke from a cigarette

each puff more corrosive than the next

if only it was my lungs turning black

Time spent in bed like a prisoner with an unlocked cell

I want too much at once

that I'm left not wanting anything at all

Still yearning for people long gone

hoping they'll close the distance

apprehending that

there's no point in reminscing someone who isn't coming back

I love uncontrollably and leave the cap off the bottle

mistakes, mistakes, memories

loneliness is a poison the doctors have no prescription for

and the toughest part is forgiving