Ashes ashes we all fall down

If  Death knocked on my door with a handful of white roses,

I'd say,

"Hello old friend,

I hope you came for me. Because I don't want to be the one left behind.

I think about you a lot Death. I can't believe you would take some people I love away from me, but you take them to the same place, and that's where I'm going, right?

You forced weed killer down my brothers throat, but you let me stop you before you went too far. Was it some cruel joke? Or is that what friends are for?

You spared my grandfathers life years ago. They called him the walking miracle because of you. Thank you, because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have learned how to surf, or make mickey mouse waffles, or see the beauty in the world, so thank you.

I remember when I swam after you. You took me so far out, and even though you were silent the whole time with your back turned, I thought you were on my side. I had to tell myself to stop following you and retreat back to shore, because I shouldn't be trying to talk to strangers. 

I wish you didn't come and go so abruptly, we never really had any good conversations. I've never come looking for you, but I do know people who have, and they regret ever trying.

How do you do it? How do you steal everyone's breaths and still be in the air around us?

Hope says not to be worried about you. She says you won't bother me yet. I told her I'm scared of you. She says not to be, that I have plenty of time and I'm on the bottom of the list. But then I think about the kid standing on the train tracks, or Anne Frank, and I'm scared again. 

I've dreamt about you Death. Did you know that? I see you all the time in pictures, I hear you in stories, but still you're only real in my head. I realize now you're not the wicked villain in a comic book, you're the wolf. We've all been tricked once, twice, until we stop listening. By the time we hear you, the sheep are already dead and you've gone missing. And we all cry wolf.

Yet I know I can't reason with you...

So let me go pack my things."

my fears have a surface area of gigantic

so

here we go

talking about fears

i could on and on about tsunamis

or spongebob clocks

or radioactive decay

but id rather take you folks to the root of my fears
l
o
v
e
.
it scares me that in all my 17 years, i'm afraid i haven't felt it with someone
and that i might spend the rest of my 76 years looking for it
that some day i'll share the earth below with strangers
i don't know how i can be scared of nobody loving me
and be terrified of loving someone back
but then there's the love that makes my fears thrive
the love for my family
the love i have for all the people i've met
and all the people i haven't
the reason why i would never get too close to the edge
or jump out of a piece of flying machinery

BUT fear is a virus that's wiping out humanity
it begins by planting thoughts of potential harm
and before you know it you've stopped trying to feel alive
and you're nothing but a routine relay race
passing on fear from one person to the next
who knew fear could be afraid of himself

honestly
most fears are ludicrous
and while i may be afraid i'm turning out just like my parents
and they're afraid i'm turning out nothing like them
i'm really afraid of losing myself
that i might become an unthinking, unfeeling embodiment of fear
that i will remember to flush the toilet
but forget to feed the fish
that i will remember to turn off the light
but forget the promises i made

and while fear is what keeps us safe
and sane
it's also what keeps us retracing our steps
what keeps our messages in bottles
and our imagination on neutral
don't let your fear bare arms against you
it doesn't have to be the enemy
it can also be a power source
plug it in your unit
and let fear be the cure, not the virus

can't prove nothin'

click click click

the sound the metal makes

thump thump thump

the sound my heart makes

                                                                   i'm a self destructive machine

i'm made of stainless steel and i still rust in the sun

i've been forged to make others happy, but i can't even do that for myself

i'm a failed experiment

an inventors plan A

a robot tossed in a box and thrown carelessly in the attic

with a dying battery and a bent antennae

that's having a hard time picking up society's signals

turns out my blueprints didn't pass the visual test 

i was the paradigm to be rendered useful

but they made a better version of me

and put it on the cover of vogue magazine

looks like the newest model was a success

they'll be making duplicates of her

as long as they fix any systematic errors 

tick tock tick tock

the clock in me that tells me the time i have left

i can hear it ticking now 

reminding me i didn't come with a lifetime warranty

and if i break i'm broken for good

so you better stamp the words fragile on the box

before you shove me in the attic

and turn off the lights

#SAME

I am going to use capitalization and punctuation correctly, and I will refrain from run on sentences. I will talk like a civilized american. I will stick to MLA format, I won't stray from the given prompt. I won't say what I'm really thinking, because you're probably not thinking the same thing. Lets talk about what we did last weekend, ask me how I'm doing, and I'll give you the same short answer. "I'm good." How about we high five and plaster a big fake smile on our faces and act like we're besties, because everyone falls for that. I will just swallow that lump in my throat and remember I can't cry in front of you. Lets snapchat pictures of ourselves, but only when we look good and the lighting is excellent. I only listen to the songs on the radio, and I definitely don't have any weird quirks or family problems. Nope. Our conversations are scripted, both of us too afraid to do anything but stick to our lines, or roles. I am shoved into one category, I am only what you think I am. I am a collaboration of my friends, my instagram photos, my achievements. I am nothing more than a wind up toy society has carefully manufactured. But here's the real problem. I'm not.

STOP DROP AND DON'T JUST ROLL WITH IT

You're worth so much more than that. Lets get into the topic of our lives, lets admit to eachother our flaws, lets confront eachother about our differences and lets admit we still play happy wheels every now and then. Tell me about the new indie band you discovered, tell me about how you have dissatisfactory dreams about sharks. Show me the marks on your doorpost that show the evolution of your height, tell me about your kindergarten imaginary friend steve. I don't care if you have a blemish right smack dab in the middle of your face, I don't care if you've got a couple hairs out of place. Tell me what you thought about last night that made you cry a river. Tell me all about your passions, your insecurities, your hopes and wishes, your fantasies. It's okay to admit you're afraid of the dark or slenderman. I'll show you the crescent moon shaped scar I got from the lid on a can of chili. I'll tell you about my toothpaste preferences or how I still can't scramble eggs. I know there's a hand controlling the sock puppet, I know you're not the same as everyone else. So please, stop hiding behind the curtain. You're so much more interesting when you're not trying to be something you're not.